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I looked in the river. There was a girl extending her hands towards my face, in the same way as I was trying to touch her. I retreated back and kept staring at her with bewildered eyes, only to get interrupted by a strange cry. Did she call out to me? I observed around but there was noone to be found . I looked at my hand and then back in the water. It was the same . There was no difference between us; I smiled, she smiled back; I cried, she cried back; I tried touching her, but she disappeared the minute I tried doing that. What was keeping us apart? The water or the air? The ripples or the waves? Why were we distant in spite of being connected in our actions? Did she think the way I did? If yes, then why did she run away from me? In between the ripples, I saw the figure emerge again. I spread my lips apart, she smiled. It was just then that a leaf fell on her.It disfigured her entire face, the smile changed to a frown. I touched my face but there was nothing on me. Why was the figure different from me now? Was it only the leaf? Or the ripples? Why did she internalize these external disturbances? Or did she really internalize them? I pushed the leaf away . Yes ! It was only my perception which created differences between the two of us. She was smiling all the time , I thought she frowned. Who was she? Why was she different yet similar to me? What caused the difference? The leaf, the air, the mud, everything external. Why was this progressive internalization taking place? Wait ! She never internalized them in the first place. I thought she did. I forced her to respond to the leaf . I looked at her again, she looked back. Now there was no difference. Whatever the leaf made her out to be, she was still like me. I smiled, took a deep breath and dipped my face in the water. Yes ! The girl was me ! I only braved the waters. The mystery unraveled on its own. There was nothing between us, no water, no leaf, no air, no mud . We were one !
Im back ! Finally after struggling with my modem which apparently got infected with virus.. I'll not live up to my promise, and therefore create a new post for you all to read (or whatever you want to do with it.. ) I'll post two of my poems which successfully endured my mood swings and self doubts and made it to this world and my college magazine :D
Disclaimer
Dont expect anything from my poems ! You'll be thoroughly disappointed and may even start hyperventilating trying to understand me and and my poems.
Sun Sets Upon The Sea
The sky felt not the heartless tear,
rising from the sea like a lifeless soul;
devoid of cheer, devoid of fear,
devoid of hope to reach its goal
The fire which taught it how to fly,
seemed more heavy than its weight could hold;
Distant from the World,its thoughts did lie
hidden in the dark like a dream untold
Aspiring for the light,hidden above,
illumining the land, the sea, the sky;
Opened its arms, like the wings of the dove,
Only to learn what it couldn't defy..
Drowning in its home with no wish
to endure the push of the new born tide,
Jumping like the heart endowed with bliss,
Skipped a beat when the wave took flight.
The sky ripened like a full grown peach,
Descending with an enchanting grace;
The ray of light danced in glee,
when the sun met the sea in tight embrace...Incomplete Rhyme
Some callow thoughts traverse my mind,
to let a rhyme assay their worth;
but like the moon, they go all blind,
to their darkness, to their dearth.
Down in the rhyme, these thoughts get pinned;
but like a fish drowned in the flood,
and like a leaf torn by the wind;
they in their nest, get choked on blood..
Squished by the eyes they always had
wanted to write them down in time;
Struggling for breath with their mouth mud clad,
they form another incomplete rhyme...
I knew you would read on ! After all forbidden fruit is always the sweetest, right ! Anyhow, my parents are wondering what I'm doing all alone in my attic at 6am in the morning rattling with my brain and the net of course, who much to my annoyance are switching on and off time to time ! I'm merely creating a room of my own after realizing that noone really pays heed to my madness anywhere else, and no, I'm not alluding to Virginia Woolf here, just innocently wondering how to proceed.. As adviced by some of my pioneer bloggers, I am planning to disintegrate my brain into pieces, indulging in a moral combat with each piece, wondering how to introduce the poor souls seeking entertainment, to my first blog. The answer is not as simple as describing a theme around which my blog revolves, as thematically speaking, I seek refuge in our very own Derrida, who very much to my convenience, disintegrates the very circle around which central themes revolve (Go, read his essays to spoil even the little understanding of what you gave gathered from this line). Maybe I should express my self reflexivity online and unleash my inspiration behind taking this massive step of endangering the human brain with my profound thoughts. After battling with my intestines, playing basketball with my eye balls and watching my brain and skull play ring-around-a-rosy openly in my attic, I decided to explore this serene and idealistic aspect of life through words and give others consolation of their madness being nothing in front of my everblooming knowledge. I however, don't know how long this post, or for that matter, this blog is going to survive in the net world, nor am I going to guarantee constant updates or posts, much to your disappointment; but trust me, you'll be more than happy to not read my posts after experiencing the pangs your brain would undergo after a few reads. I very well promise a disoriented, insane blog, probably disintegrating your eyes and brains into infinite pieces,providing you with an opportunity to sharpen your puzzling skills. So do keep your well formed eyes (for the time being of course) fixed on this space incase you are ready to let your sanity undergo electrolysis at the hands of my genuine thoughts :D And congrats for managing to survive till the end of this post ! Au revoir !
